Being alone sucks sometimes.
I’m usually content to be at home chilling by myself. These last couple of days have been different, though.
I feel like everyone around me has a person that they can be with in times like this and I don’t. And every time I think I’ve found a person who might be that person for me, it never seems to work out. I hate getting my hopes up like that.
Maybe it has to do with other emotions I’m feeling. I’m not happy with some things that happened earlier this week, and I’m confused about some other things going on in my life, too. But I’m hoping things get better and it passes soon.
So clearly after 4.5 years of being with someone, you’re going to feel weird when you break up. Its going to be cray. You’re going to have mixed emotions. But eventually, you’ll feel normal again and things will get better, right?
Well it isn’t that simple when you have yet to go more than 5 days without talking to him and then he hits you up because you got a bunch of mail at his house so he wants to come deliver it to you and see the cats.
I mean, I want my mail, so I have to see him anyway. And it isn’t like I hate him or anything. But damn, I feel like I just need a few weeks without hearing from him so I can get used to life without him and start feeling normal again.
Then again, I’m probably really not going about trying to get over him appropriately anyway, since it mostly involves trying to rebound but not actually wanting anything serious out of it. And also alcohol. It involves alcohol, too.
UHG BUT ANYWAY sorry for yet another diary entry, and also sorry that this blog has like no substance or good content lately. I just am trying to live life and adjust to new things and what not.
Well anyway hopefully things get less weird.