Tag: cats

Single, but not lonely (Part II)

The biggest issue I have with the whole single = lonely thing is the fact that I am not fucking the slightest bit lonely.

First of all, can we remember that just because I’m single doesn’t mean that I haven’t looked at a man since my ex? Sure, I go back and forth with my feelings about the whole dating thing…well, okay, maybe not so much back and forth as much as 85% of the time feeling like I never want to be around another man again, 10% of the time spending like two weeks hanging out non-stop with a guy who I actually like being around before they decide to ignore my existence, and then like maybe 5% of the time double booking myself on Tinder dates all weekend long (yes, I know, I am at times the female version of a fuckboy, but you can either play the game or get played, am I right ladies?). I wouldn’t call it good, or healthy, or anything of the sort, but I definitely can attest that the majority of the time, if I’m not seeing any guys, it’s by my personal choice, and therefore I am not feeling lonely about it all.

My next, and most important, point, is that even if I wasn’t seeing guys when I wanted to see them, there are also these people who I like to call friends that most individuals spend time with, and who I happen to have in my life. I would in fact argue that I have some of the best, greatest friends that a girl could ask for. And this incredibly grateful, lucky girl typing this out right now, has friendships in her life that go back as far as 21 years ago. That’s literally almost all of my life, you guys. How many people can truly say that they have friends that they have known since they were three, four, and five years old?

And of course, I have friendships that only go back one or two years that are awesome as well. My very best friend is someone I’ve only known for two years, and she has introduced be to a whole group of friends who I get to call my own now (shout out to Angie for being responsible for literally 90% of my current social life lol).

Finally, I literally have multiple cats trying to lay on top of my body every moment that I am at home.

See? None of this looks like I am EVER ALONE. As I type this it’s like the orange one can sense that I’m thinking about him, and just moved from his spot a foot away from me on my bed and is now laying literally on top of my arms, making it slightly difficult for me to type.

On a more serious note, though, I don’t want to just speak for myself. Maybe someone is single and feels lonely because of it, and while I’m sorry to hear it, that’s totally okay and I will be the first person to validate your feelings (because I am all about validating other peoples’ feelings, let me tell ya). But what I don’t like is when people act as if, because one is single, they should feel lonely. People are allowed to be happy and content, regardless of their relationship status, and whether you personally agree with that or not. You shouldn’t need a relationship to feel whole, and nobody should make you feel like you do.

So don’t feel bad for me, and don’t try to convince me that I need to be less happy than I think I am.



Life Update

So here’s what’s been happening since January:

I’m still single and I still like it that way because I still don’t want a relationship. Everything’s chill. Although I’ve been chatting it up with a couple of guys. We’ll see what happens with that.

I got awarded another graduate assistantship for next year! Which means my tuition is covered and I will be making money! And it also means that I have now had at least one stroke of luck, so things may be looking up for me!

I’m going to Firefly Music Festival and Mo Pop Music Festival this summer! I’ve been trying to go to Firefly for YEARS, and I finally convinced one of my friends to go with me! I can’t wait!

My kitten turned a year old! He’s still an asshole though so don’t get too excited. I also bought a laser pointer. I had never tried using one to play with the cats before and it’s crazy how much they love it!

School has been fucking insane this semester. I’m glad that there is only one week left not including finals because I’m about over it!

If you want to see an accurate depiction of my life click here

And that’s about how my brain is functioning this semester.

I might get a nannying job for a little baby this summer! I love babies and this one seems like he’s pretty easy so I’m excited if it all works out!

And that’s about it. Things are good. I’m hoping that will all my fun plans this summer they get even better, and I even think that I’ll be making even more plans as time goes on! We will see.

But for now, back to finishing my four assignments that are all due on Tuesday of next week…


When your ex kind of wants to hang out

So clearly after 4.5 years of being with someone, you’re going to feel weird when you break up. Its going to be cray. You’re going to have mixed emotions. But eventually, you’ll feel normal again and things will get better, right?

Well it isn’t that simple when you have yet to go more than 5 days without talking to him and then he hits you up because you got a bunch of mail at his house so he wants to come deliver it to you and see the cats.

I mean, I want my mail, so I have to see him anyway. And it isn’t like I hate him or anything. But damn, I feel like I just need a few weeks without hearing from him so I can get used to life without him and start feeling normal again.

Then again, I’m probably really not going about trying to get over him appropriately anyway, since it mostly involves trying to rebound but not actually wanting anything serious out of it. And also alcohol. It involves alcohol, too.

UHG BUT ANYWAY sorry for yet another diary entry, and also sorry that this blog has like no substance or good content lately. I just am trying to live life and adjust to new things and what not.

Well anyway hopefully things get less weird.

Peace –


A little information about how I got to this point in my life:


I think that if someone could have a mid-life crisis at the age of 23, that’s what would be happening to me right now.

My life is changing so rapidly right now, and whenever that happens, I have a tendency to lose my shit a little.

After losing my shit completely, I come to a turning point, and things start to look up.

So right now, I think I might be at the turning point in my mess of a life, but I can’t be sure because the situation is still so new.

What happened, you see, is that when I decide to fuck something up, I fuck it up as badly as is humanly possible. I don’t fuck it up at a convenient point or anything like that. I fuck it up at a time that just does not work out for anyone.

What did I fuck up? My mother fucking relationship.

For four and a half years, I was with the same person. We had been through so much together, so many difficult times, so much bullshit, and I thought our relationship could last through anything.

Well apparently I was wrong.

I went as far as to move in with said person last May, and then, as soon as our roommate moves out, as soon as my parents buy him a ticket to go on our cruise with us over Christmastime, and as soon as we adopt a new kitten together, we’re done.

Its a long, LONG story, but things just took a bad turn (you’ll probably get the pleasure of hearing about it later so don’t worry about it too much).

So as of last week, for the first time in four and a half years, I am single and scrambling to find an apartment on my own with two cats, living in the extra bedroom of my now ex-boyfriend(who, may I mention, will barely look at me?)’s house that he mother fucking owns, and losing my fool mind.

But hey, at least we weren’t married and shit, right?

This blog could end up being about a lot of things.

You’re going to hear more details of the demise of my relationship, I’m sure.

You’re going to hear details of how I’m learning to be single after all this time.

You’re going to hear details of me learning to live on my own and fully take care of myself, since I’ve never done this without a roommate of some sort before.

You’re going to hear about grad school and how I’m dealing.

And you’ll probably hear fun stories about the cats and my friends and my sometimes awesome, sometimes joke, of a life.

So get ready for some fun, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you in advance for sticking with me while I figure my life out.